Questions about Abuse Topics
Please note that the answers (or links to further answers) to any question in this section will be
from the authors personal experiences and not a professional opinion. Neither the author, nor
anyone affiliated with this website, will bear any responsibility for anyone taking the information
contained herein and misusing it or attempting to claim it is professional advice. It is simply
information, how it is used is the responsibility of the reader
I am in a domestic violence situation, how do I clear the cache file on my computer?
Follow this link for complete computer and phone safety instructions.
Can you give a general definition for child abuse? No. The reason is because each state defines
the different types of child abuse differently. To find out how your state defines child abuse
click here.
Why don’t children tell?
The abuser knows what they are doing is wrong so they try to keep it hidden by threatening their victim in
some way – keeping their victim afraid of speaking out. For me it was as simple as “Don’t tell your mother,
she will be mad,” and later, my mother saying she would "kill any man who touched me that way.” Some
perpetrators threaten the child or a family member with some form of harm or death to keep a child from
There are some perpetrators that coerce a child into participating through attempts to teach the child that
these behaviors are normal or that they are a game "many other fathers 'play' with their daughters".
Other times it is simply that the child either does not know it is wrong or they lack the words to tell because
it has happened at an age where vocabulary is not developed enough.
What can I do to help someone who has been abused as a child and is not an adult?
First and foremost is to listen without judging or giving advice. Unless you are an abuse survivor
yourself you have no idea what effect the abuse has had on this person, and even if you have been through
similar tings, you do not know how it has affected them because every person is different. Giving
well-intentioned advice can cause more harm to the individual than good because you don't understand
what influences that persons way of thinking. There are several things a friend who desires to help should
understand about an abuse survivor before trying to help: shame, dissociation,  trust, 'worse' abuse, healing
through the gospel, and safety.