Myths about Battered Women
MYTH 1 - There is only a small percentage of the population affected by the battered woman
syndrome.
Fact - Domestic violence is a seriously under reported crime. The true numbers of battered
women are found in family disturbance or domestic violence calls to the police, emergency
room reports,the records of social service agencies, as well as private psychologists and
counselors. Back in 1976, in Brooklyn NY, 57.4% of 500 interviewed divorcing women
complained of their husbands physically assaulting them. That same year in Cleveland Ohio,
36.8% of 600 divorcing women reported physical abuse as the reason for divorce.
More recently: From 1983 to 1991, the number of domestic violence reports received
increased by almost 117%. Source: New York State Division of Criminal Justice Services,
1983 and 1991.
Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused
by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. Source: Commonwealth Fund survey,
1998.
One in five female high school students reports being physically or sexually abused by a
dating partner. Source: Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS), August 2001.
MYTH 2 - Battered women are masochistic (Meaning they like being beaten).
Fact - In an attempt to understand why anyone would choose to stay in an abusive
relationship, healthy people come to the conclusion that these women like being beaten.
What is not understood is that battered women are not emotionally or mentally healthy
enough to be able to leave. For decades women were assumed to be guilty of being too
provocative, aggressive, or frigid and therefore guilty of bringing on the abuse. There was no
thought that it might be possible that women became provocative, aggressive, or frigid as a
result of the abuse.
MYTH 3 - Battered women are crazy.
Fact - Battered women who have developed coping skills to survive the abuse have in the
past been misdiagnosed because diagnoses were based only on their symptoms rather than
taking into account their social situation and its effect on their mental health and
relationships. This has improved over the decades.
MYTH 4 - Middle-class women do not get battered as frequently or as violently as do poor
women.
Fact - Lower class women are more likely to come into contact with social service or
community agencies, making their plight more visible. Middle and upper class women tend to
hide their battering because they fear the social stigma and embarrassment and because
they are less likely to be believed. Not to People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale
Marriages by Susan Weitzman, Ph.D., is an expose on these silent women.
MYTH 5 - Caucasian women are battered less frequently than Minority group women.
Fact - In the statistical report from the Bureau of Justice, the following is shown about
intimate partner homicide female victims: white females in 1976 there were 840 deaths, in
2005 there were 789 deaths; black females in 1976 there were 709 deaths, in 2005 there
were 337; all other races females in 1976 there were 20 deaths, in 2005 there were 44.
Thankfully the rates are dropping, but Caucasian women are killed by intimate partners far
more frequently than minority women. These deaths are preceded by multiple domestic
violence incidents, usually five or more.
MYTH 6 - Religious beliefs will prevent battering.
Fact - When battered women were interviewed, they stated that their religious beliefs helped
them cope with the suffering, but did not protect them from being abused. Batterers come
from all walks of life, including membership in religious organizations. Their membership and
professed belief in an organized religion does not prevent them from being batterers,
instead, it is often used as an excuse for dominance through male privilege.
MYTH 7 - Battered women are uneducated and have few job skills.
Fact - Education levels of battered women range from fifth grade to post-graduate levels,
and their jobs are equivalent in nature to their education. See the myth about middle and
upper class women above.
MYTH 8 - Batterers are violent in all their relationships.
Fact - Estimates are that only 20% of battered women live with men who are violent to
anyone who gets in their way. Most men who batter their wives are generally not violent in
other aspects of their lives. Most men who batter are perceived as being charming and
charismatic.
MYTH 9 - Batterers are unsuccessful and lack resources to cope with the world.
Fact - Men who batter are as successful as women how are battered.
MYTH 10 - Drinking causes battering behavior.
Fact - Battered women whose husbands drank reported that they were battered whether or
not their husbands drank. There is an association between drinking and more violent
battering, however, the drinking alone does not cause the battering.
MYTH 11 - Batterers are psychopathic (antisocial) personalities.
Fact - The only thing most batterers have in common with psychopaths is the extraordinary
ability to use charm as a manipulative technique. However, batterers can have Antisocial
Personality Disorder.
MYTH 12 - Police can protect the battered woman.
Fact - Women who are battered feel that the police are ineffective because when they call
the police their husband stops, and as soon as the police leave the assault was renewed
with increased vigor.
Between 25% and 67% of all homicides occur within the family in all societies. 80% of all
homicides in Detroit and Kansas City had seen police intervention five times before the
homicide occurred.
MYTH 13 - Batterers do not love their partner.
Fact - Batterers are often described by their victims as fun loving little boys when they are
not being coercive - they are playful, attentive, sensitive, exciting, and affectionate to their
women.
MYTH 14 - A wife batterer also beats his children.
Fact - Only 1/3 of batterers also beat their children.
MYTH 15 - Once a battered woman always a battered woman.
Fact - Most women do not want another batterer as a spouse and do not choose men who
do.
MYTH 16 - Once a batterer, always a batterer.
Fact - If a batterer can learn to batter, they can learn other more appropriate social skills.
MYTH 17 - Long-standing battering relationships can change for the better.
Fact - Men who batter do it for power and control, the man in this marriage situation is
resistant to equal power sharing arrangements.
MYTH 18 - Battered women deserve to et beaten.
Fact - No one could deserve that kind of brutality. Batterers lose self-control because of their
own internal reasons, not because of what the woman did or did not do.
MYTH 19 - Battered women can always leave home.
Fact - Battered women are not free to leave a battering relationship without assistance
because of the psychological inability to do so.
MYTH 20 - Batterers will cease their violence "when we get married."
Fact - Those who battered before marriage had increased possessiveness, suspiciousness,
and violence.
MYTH 21 - Children need their father even if he is violent - or "I'm only staying for the sake of
the children."
Fact - Children of abusive parents all say they would choose to live with a single parent.
These children experience an enormous relief after leaving violent parents homes. Young
children from homes where the father beat the mother had severer emotional and
educational problems. It does not help the children to stay in abusive relationships. Women
who chose to stay "for the children" stayed long after the children left home, suggesting that
they stayed for other reasons.
syndrome.
Fact - Domestic violence is a seriously under reported crime. The true numbers of battered
women are found in family disturbance or domestic violence calls to the police, emergency
room reports,the records of social service agencies, as well as private psychologists and
counselors. Back in 1976, in Brooklyn NY, 57.4% of 500 interviewed divorcing women
complained of their husbands physically assaulting them. That same year in Cleveland Ohio,
36.8% of 600 divorcing women reported physical abuse as the reason for divorce.
More recently: From 1983 to 1991, the number of domestic violence reports received
increased by almost 117%. Source: New York State Division of Criminal Justice Services,
1983 and 1991.
Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused
by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. Source: Commonwealth Fund survey,
1998.
One in five female high school students reports being physically or sexually abused by a
dating partner. Source: Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS), August 2001.
MYTH 2 - Battered women are masochistic (Meaning they like being beaten).
Fact - In an attempt to understand why anyone would choose to stay in an abusive
relationship, healthy people come to the conclusion that these women like being beaten.
What is not understood is that battered women are not emotionally or mentally healthy
enough to be able to leave. For decades women were assumed to be guilty of being too
provocative, aggressive, or frigid and therefore guilty of bringing on the abuse. There was no
thought that it might be possible that women became provocative, aggressive, or frigid as a
result of the abuse.
MYTH 3 - Battered women are crazy.
Fact - Battered women who have developed coping skills to survive the abuse have in the
past been misdiagnosed because diagnoses were based only on their symptoms rather than
taking into account their social situation and its effect on their mental health and
relationships. This has improved over the decades.
MYTH 4 - Middle-class women do not get battered as frequently or as violently as do poor
women.
Fact - Lower class women are more likely to come into contact with social service or
community agencies, making their plight more visible. Middle and upper class women tend to
hide their battering because they fear the social stigma and embarrassment and because
they are less likely to be believed. Not to People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale
Marriages by Susan Weitzman, Ph.D., is an expose on these silent women.
MYTH 5 - Caucasian women are battered less frequently than Minority group women.
Fact - In the statistical report from the Bureau of Justice, the following is shown about
intimate partner homicide female victims: white females in 1976 there were 840 deaths, in
2005 there were 789 deaths; black females in 1976 there were 709 deaths, in 2005 there
were 337; all other races females in 1976 there were 20 deaths, in 2005 there were 44.
Thankfully the rates are dropping, but Caucasian women are killed by intimate partners far
more frequently than minority women. These deaths are preceded by multiple domestic
violence incidents, usually five or more.
MYTH 6 - Religious beliefs will prevent battering.
Fact - When battered women were interviewed, they stated that their religious beliefs helped
them cope with the suffering, but did not protect them from being abused. Batterers come
from all walks of life, including membership in religious organizations. Their membership and
professed belief in an organized religion does not prevent them from being batterers,
instead, it is often used as an excuse for dominance through male privilege.
MYTH 7 - Battered women are uneducated and have few job skills.
Fact - Education levels of battered women range from fifth grade to post-graduate levels,
and their jobs are equivalent in nature to their education. See the myth about middle and
upper class women above.
MYTH 8 - Batterers are violent in all their relationships.
Fact - Estimates are that only 20% of battered women live with men who are violent to
anyone who gets in their way. Most men who batter their wives are generally not violent in
other aspects of their lives. Most men who batter are perceived as being charming and
charismatic.
MYTH 9 - Batterers are unsuccessful and lack resources to cope with the world.
Fact - Men who batter are as successful as women how are battered.
MYTH 10 - Drinking causes battering behavior.
Fact - Battered women whose husbands drank reported that they were battered whether or
not their husbands drank. There is an association between drinking and more violent
battering, however, the drinking alone does not cause the battering.
MYTH 11 - Batterers are psychopathic (antisocial) personalities.
Fact - The only thing most batterers have in common with psychopaths is the extraordinary
ability to use charm as a manipulative technique. However, batterers can have Antisocial
Personality Disorder.
MYTH 12 - Police can protect the battered woman.
Fact - Women who are battered feel that the police are ineffective because when they call
the police their husband stops, and as soon as the police leave the assault was renewed
with increased vigor.
Between 25% and 67% of all homicides occur within the family in all societies. 80% of all
homicides in Detroit and Kansas City had seen police intervention five times before the
homicide occurred.
MYTH 13 - Batterers do not love their partner.
Fact - Batterers are often described by their victims as fun loving little boys when they are
not being coercive - they are playful, attentive, sensitive, exciting, and affectionate to their
women.
MYTH 14 - A wife batterer also beats his children.
Fact - Only 1/3 of batterers also beat their children.
MYTH 15 - Once a battered woman always a battered woman.
Fact - Most women do not want another batterer as a spouse and do not choose men who
do.
MYTH 16 - Once a batterer, always a batterer.
Fact - If a batterer can learn to batter, they can learn other more appropriate social skills.
MYTH 17 - Long-standing battering relationships can change for the better.
Fact - Men who batter do it for power and control, the man in this marriage situation is
resistant to equal power sharing arrangements.
MYTH 18 - Battered women deserve to et beaten.
Fact - No one could deserve that kind of brutality. Batterers lose self-control because of their
own internal reasons, not because of what the woman did or did not do.
MYTH 19 - Battered women can always leave home.
Fact - Battered women are not free to leave a battering relationship without assistance
because of the psychological inability to do so.
MYTH 20 - Batterers will cease their violence "when we get married."
Fact - Those who battered before marriage had increased possessiveness, suspiciousness,
and violence.
MYTH 21 - Children need their father even if he is violent - or "I'm only staying for the sake of
the children."
Fact - Children of abusive parents all say they would choose to live with a single parent.
These children experience an enormous relief after leaving violent parents homes. Young
children from homes where the father beat the mother had severer emotional and
educational problems. It does not help the children to stay in abusive relationships. Women
who chose to stay "for the children" stayed long after the children left home, suggesting that
they stayed for other reasons.